“you can be anything you set your mind to…”
Even suicide? Sorry, that was a little dark. How about college? Graduating high school? Or how about surviving with depression and anxiety that I developed having to relocate my high school career into a computer screen for 7-8 hours, no club meetings, no football games, no senior year celebrations?
So yeah, suicide.
Coming in 3rd, it’s the leading cause of death in teens aged 10-19 and it’s only increased since the lockdown of ‘20 1. The withdrawals from normality mixed with hormone development only scream “WARNING” and then you throw into this the possibility of emotional/physical abuse at home. 55% of teens reported this abuse at home, and 44% started to feel hopelessness as less of their life seemed to make sense2.
As parents were relocated back home, or completely let go from jobs, to be around their children had to be a blessing in disguise, except for the fact that now, when the stresses of work lived at home instead of at the office, the 55% spoke up and an extended spring break became a nightmare.
“That’s a bit extreme.” It is, and it’s concerning- just because it hasn’t happened to you, doesn’t mean it isn’t real.
It all makes sense, but what did we do about it? Move classes online to Zoom, increase the use of social media (which resulted in increased cyberbullying), and created a generation where loneliness lies outside of technological validation and success. By removing real experiences, we lost the connection our children had (or what was left of it anyways) to the world and led them to be increasingly dependent on wifi connection. Oh, and we can’t forget about the parents part.
*insert deep breath*
So we see the facts, we see that our children (I keep saying ‘our’ like I have any…), the children residing in the United States, but what we haven’t seen is how to help. Most of these teens were put on antidepressants to “stabilize mood swings.” Because that’s obviously what they are. *insert eye roll*
The beauty about books and reading is that there is so much knowledge available at your own pace and if you need to reread something, you can. The horror is that most people lose interest because of a 7-8 second window of opportunity before they are distracted.
High Performance Habits by Brendon Burchard (highly recommended to everyone) is my favorite book that helped clear my head of distractions and turn these distractions into productive habits. The things i’ve learned as a kid in an unhealthy home unfortunately followed me into adulthood where my brain was nothing but chaotic, and I can only imagine how I would have coped realizing my school was just moved full time to hell.
Sorry, I meant to say home. Autocorrect.
So this is what I got from this book: Where you put your intentions are where you will see results.
What you prioritize is what you will succeed in: if you wake up in the mornings to soak in the negative atmosphere created around you, you will continue the same failed path you have been walking. If you wake up in the mornings, you have your children, an opportunity at a new day, bills (even though your accounts are overdrafted), or a roof over your head, you are luckier than most of the world right now.
Not one successful individual created that success out of doubt, negative anxiety, or hate in their heart. They did it through passion and through a strong mental foundation. They found their “why” and they established their “how.”
I’m not in your position, and you aren’t in mine- I have no idea what your finances look like, or what house or apartment you reside in, but I do know that you have an equal opportunity to act with intention and that is a gift that you and you alone can either accept or keep driving yourself deeper into the ground.
To the teens questioning things:
I’m an avid believer in “you are what you create” and your mindset is the determining factor for your future: you can choose to sit in these moments of hurt, and chaos, or you can take it to the chin, pick yourself up and focus on the future you are manifesting.
It is hard- but soldiers were never perfect right out the gate, they took several beatings and failed numerous times, so I have plenty of faith and hope in you and that you can make it out.
You are not a burden to anyone but the imaginary people and feelings you’ve been forced to create. You’ve been shut out, shut down and ignored, but those few people who did those things to you aren’t what the rest of us look like. You are strong, and you are never, ever, ever, ever alone.
To the parents that put their kids in awful situations:
Quit holding your children responsible for your failures and quit taking out your stress and anger on them. You have no business involving them in those emotions, and if you obviously cannot control your emotions, it is time for you to get a hobby called therapy. The trauma you cause them now will sit on their backs for the rest of their life causing relationship PTSD in friendships, romances, and pretty much every human encounter. Life is hard, and things are hard right now, but that gives you no excuse to make it harder for them.
Be kind to yourself, take a minute to understand why you are frustrated and step back to feel those feelings but do not explode. You are under a lot of stress, but you cannot solve a problem when you can’t even control your emotions. Go to friends, your family, a church, anything, because you have a lot more to lose than just your temper.
References
- Brown, J. (2022, June 23). Pediatricians recommend all adolescents be screened for suicide risk. https://www.foxnews.com/health/pediatricians-recommend-all-adolescents-be-screened-suicide-risk
- Suicide Facts and Figures. https://www.datocms-assets.com/12810/1649682186-14296_afsp_2022_national_fact_sheet_update_m1_v4.pdf
- Suicide Prevention. https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/
okay, perfect. 
Leave a comment