okay, perfect.

Most think that this era is one of man-eating, ruling the world, and proving everyone wrong.

Stop making this about them and make this about you. If social media didn’t exist, we wouldn’t have half these problems or know half the people that make us feel this way; but we do so address this as if it’s not even real…because what is real?

It almost feels like a simulation- once we start bringing together the broken pieces and developing routines and habits that benefit us and our future, it attracts the right people but unfortunately, it also attracts next level problems.

The DF era is a must; it allows you to retract from the world, working in silence, building a powerful soul that knows who she is, who she wants to be and what she’ll allow.

Is this the villain era?

I think this is maybe afterwards…or the same thing? Idk I just realized that.

They both share the same goals, motives and also the same atmosphere. Figuring out You.

And I absolutely love them.

Self exploration

Do you even know what music you like to blare when no one is around? Do you even like the way you style your hair? How about the horrible iced coffee you order every morning that’s bad for your skin and crippling anxiety but you’ve been ordering it for 2 years because it’s the “talk of the town” in the office and the only thing to drink?There’s a hole in the wall tea shop two doors down that won’t add to your acne or stress levels and costs half the price.

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One thing I’ve noticed and read a lot about is how we are creatures of habit and validation. In our genetics, we are considered animals and animals move in packs. When an animal is alone, it typically is dying or got the middle finger from their friends. So its normal for us to want to be in a clique, but how and what the effects of the clique we’re apart of speaks through languages other than money.

Who are you faking to be in order to have their favor?

Oop.

For example; I was literally clubbing out in Tampa, horrible and miserable. Someone came into my life and showed me how blind I was to that misery because my inner child felt accepted and that was enough for me, but at the cost of my mentality, physical and mental state of mind and my future.

I should probably be dead. Lol.

So I moved home (forced home. Thanks COVID). Rebuilt and tried again.And failed again. Actually twice after that.Why? Because I didn’t want to be alone- I needed validation and that reassurance that I was wanted. I didn’t even want myself.

Boundaries.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay I have them now, I promise.Boundaries are not saying “f these people and their expectations of me.” Let’s clear that right now. Any violence you allow to control your decisions is wrong. You sometimes need violence to influence the decisions, but when you allow your emotions to sway your next move, you’ve already lost.

Feel that emotion and then step back and make a logical decision.

It’s like calling your ex at 2 am because you “need them and can’t live without them” but in reality you just needed a nappy-nap and you were fine……..

Boundaries allow you to create the future you envision and safely. With having boundaries, you set restrictions for dating, therefore attracting high value men and a high value future because you didn’t fold after a shitty first date at a chipotle and then you regret everything in the morning.

Boundaries allow you to reject going out on Friday nights because you are at the gym or studying and setting up your future career and routines that help motivate you and push you to be better instead of taking shots with Jessica and her third boyfriend of the week.(These are great college experiences, and its okay if you’ve ever done things like that, but you have to realize that repetition is easy to get sucked into and before you know it, you’re 30 with the same habits.)

Self-respect.

Mommy. Whether you have to put sticky notes on your mirror, or set reminders in your phone or have your best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/family members smack it into you, have respect for yourself. Your body is a temple and temples burn when the wrong people/things/ideas invade them. You have to maintain the mindset that we are all still learning and figuring this shit out, nobody has the direct answers for your position but you can use some guidance. You are important and much needed.

Once you figure that out, your entire attitude will change and therefore positively and directly influencing your future. ❤

Vision.

The thing being influenced..The DF puts her vision in a place where she is constantly seeing where she wants to be- she is developing the path to get her there and she is removing obstacles that will keep her from it: people or objects.Take into consideration those you let around you: the people you associate with are the people you become. (I literally ghosted a guy in the middle of a date bc his best friend was an idiot and I had no intentions of being involved… Sorry C.)But its true. Be aware of who you’re becoming and that’ll help your vision.But do- seek counseling. Seek someone wiser and working in the area you’re striving for and then speak to the visionary- things are constantly changing and you’ll have to face adaption in the future situations.(:

Love.

Watching some of the TikTok’s or the attitude of the girls claiming their in their “villain” era or their DF era, its disappointing because they’ve erased love from their language.

You have to love; love yourself, love others, love your flaws, love your troubles and love your life in order to succeed.

You cannot look at the situations that are meant to shape you and hate them- embrace those things. Embrace the breakup and see that its opening up new doors to discovering your flaws and strengths as well as a new job or moving around the world… (Eat, Pray, Love reference..)

If you have such a negative attitude towards people, you’ll be lonely and not by choice. In a world where you can be anything, be kind.

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Your DF era does not mean your better than anyone, it means you’re better than yourself yesterday. It means you’re growing a stronger and more mature mindset.

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Do not use this trend as an excuse to be a shit person- grow and embrace your feminine side; when a woman becomes masculine, she’s embracing the trauma that’s built around her heart and using that masculinity to guard herself. Allow your feminine side to slip out and remind you that you are safe and you bring that safety to your younger self as well.

Your feminine side is what will allow you to live, to embrace your sexuality and to feel your sensitivity.