okay, perfect.

But like, in a way that helps more so than hurt?

Okay, lemmi explain, being in the 20-24 range is relaxing but its also feeling like things are on fire constantly. 25-26 is realizing “okay, I’ve got to get it together” and it’ll feel like trying to catch your cat with baby oil on it. Since im 27, I can’t tell you what the rest of its going to be but I can give you the two-cents that my friends are in their 30s:

It gets SO MUCH BETTER.

And that’s why I can’t wait for my 30th birthday. Lol

To be honest, what probably lives rent free in my head more than anything else is this:

• health matters; what you eat and drink and the makeup you wear
• Your “college job” turns into your career if you’re not careful (maybe thats okay)
• You’re going to compare yourself to people a lot- they have not the slightest clue you might even exist

Regardless of which part of your twenties you’re in- every single year is going to feel different for obvious reasons– you’re maturing, growing into adulthood, growing into paying for car insurance and having different bills, pains, experiences.

Most of my friends went to college with me, and we did the whole experience: 2 jobs, classes full time and also an hell of a social life. But a few of mine skipped college, started working in high school, or decided to settle down and have a family.

There’s a point to this: the mindset we have at 22 is completely different by 25/26 and the way our brain works, what our bodies need, trading in the small car for an SUV because our back hurts and we cannot get that low anymore…

But I think the biggest change we experience is our expectations of how we perceive life and what we take from people in terms of respect and respecting ourselves. The Sense of Self.

Our dating scene changes thankfully, our friend group and tolerations change, our eating habits and the type of makeup we wear.. (remember the thick eyebrow trend and the mounds of foundation)

We become young women who have different desires and needs and that changes every. single. year.

I think my favorite thing that I realized was the nightlife for me. I realistically can only handle like maaaaybe a night out every other week between my gym and work schedule. And even if I do, it’s MAX 3 drinks because I WILL feel like I’ve been hit by a truck the next day- then I can’t do anything productive and it sucks.. truly.

But when we start noticing these changes in our mindset, it’s hard to let go of the previous, polar opposite lifestyle we were living. It’s like a light goes on and suddenly we hate everything that we did, but the insight is to not regret what we did but just to recognize that stage in our life and that we are starting a whole new chapter. It’s actually such a wonderful moment when this happens, when we change alter our sense of self.

You start dressing differently, hanging out with a different crowd and traded late night tequila/sodas for morning tea and a bagel. You start organizing your friend groups, not necessarily disowning them, but simply just drawing a line that it doesn’t coordinate with what you have planned for yourself and your future nor will it benefit that. You start meeting people with the same growing mindset as you and you begin changing directions. This is where people will notice:

Insecure people do not like successful people.

And they do not like change. You will have at least one person that you know of that will critique everything you’re doing, not for the betterment of yourself but to bring you back down so that they are not alone. They are the unwanted company to the little voice inside your head that tells you that you shouldn’t do x because you probably won’t be successful anyways. These people recognize that they do not have the self respect or discipline to change and the chaos is so familiar to them to the point that they need the same routines to function, and they are so uncomfortable with change.

And you don’t have to go completely insane on them, but a simple:

”I know we’ve been friends for a while, but your goals differ from mine and I do not want to do things that will keep me from the success I’m currently building for myself.”

Especially if you are healing from childhood trauma, a breakup, or just a sudden point of realization you are not where you want to be.

But the reality is- the changes you’re making (hopefully good and progressive lol) are pushing you into the life that you want to live and some people are just uncomfortable with the fact that other people can be genuinely happy.

Your future, your career and your heart all are depending on your day-to-day choices. Not your parents, not your friends or co workers- quite literally just you. Your reaction to every situation is going to push you farther into the future in such an exciting manner or your going to stay at a standstill…repeating the same thing every day every week for the rest of your life.

And thats when you ask yourself, is this what you really want? I ask myself this at the start of every month and I go to my Notion to reevaluate:

1. Establish your goals,
2. Look at your lifestyle now and make notes of habits you currently have,
3. Make a list of habits that the future you will have (early mornings, skincare routines, podcasts you listen to, using your Outlook calendar to schedule everything because you are that girl boss),
4. And then start doing those things.

It’s re-wiring your brain and sense of self. You don’t need to have it all figured out but just recognizing where change might need to happen is enough of a start that you’ll see everything just fall together.

xx